Love, Sex and Bollywood - Diaries of an Engineering Graduate

My first impressions of college life were influenced by the candyfloss movies like 'Kuch Kuch Hota Hai'. Big mistake, since I decided to join an engineering college...

            As the title of this article suggests, there are 3 sub-parts to it. I will start with the last one, i.e., Bollywood. I am a movie buff, like most of the people of my age group. I was always told that there is a subtle difference between reel and real life. I got a taste of that after I joined college, an engineering college to be precise...It was so far away from what they portrayed in popular films, where hot chicks in surplus numbers moved around in skimpy clothes and nerdy guy gets the hottest of them almost everytime. The only film made on an engineering student's life is Aamir Khan's 3 Idiots, and surprisingly the heroine wasn't a student of the same college but the daughter of a professor! (actually, I don't remember any girl student shown in the movie) This is close to reality, but not 100% because the sex ratio in an engineering college is composed of males and the non-males (a new species of female found only in engineering colleges). It doesn't take much time to differentiate between the two if your balls are in their correct place. Yes, you get to make friends for life as they show in the movies but chances of getting laid (as they show very aesthetically in the U/A rated ones) is close to nil, unless you are born lucky. So the moral of the story is that when Bollywood shows a college, take it for granted that its not an engineering college or else cry 'dhoka' for 4 most important years of your lifetime.

               The views expressed in the last paragraph indicate that the next sub-part might go blank. Before you come to any conclusion, let me narrate you a scene from the superhit flick Jurassic Park. The scientist who had built it tried to be clever and made only female dinosaurs, so that reproduction will not be possible. But he took the DNA samples from a particular African frog that could change its sex according to the social situation, to fill in the gaps in the dinosaur DNA's found from fossils. The protagonist warns him that life finds a way, but no one pays heed to his advice. In the end, everyone ends up with swollen asses as the dinosaurs were able to change their sex so as to reproduce and propagate their race! The situation is very similar in engineering colleges in India today (and was always, so say our uncles), especially the prestigious ones. But sex change is an option that might not feature in the frustrated to-be-engineer's to-do list. With the advent of social networking and cheap telecom, situation today is not so bad as 10-15 years back. A lot depends on how the opportunity is grabbed, but sadly there is no such demonstration on it. Erotica in Hindi films is limited to smooching like puppies, and they seldom emphasize on the built up to it. Porn doesn't help too (especially Asian and American ones), the maximum it can do is to stimulate a jerk off. But then again, life (and sex) does find a way, just that the time taken for finding depends on how hard one strives for it..;)

                   Thus we come to the last section, i.e., love...but before we try to find it, we must first assume that it is not the same as lust. Love and lust actually constituted the first vicious circle on this planet, long time back when man was above poverty, unemployment and illiteracy. It was something like love-boobs-love-bigger boobs-love- (and so on). This is a basic instinct and cannot be manipulated in any living male. In the same way as no one can answer the question whether the egg came first or the chicken, no one can be sure what a guy feels when he sees a girl for the first time, because inside the brain, love and lust are like the transfer functions of a single control system! But mind it, we are speaking of an engineering college where both love and lust are more of a null set...When I was a kid, I had imagined that I will marry a beautiful girl with whom I will fall in love in college. Then I joined IIST (big pause)...First year could be best described as.. umm..optimistic. After all, we were the only batch in the campus. By the time we reached 3rd year, most of us had settled for the idea that any girl will do (another pause..sad one). Then a quest began, in the campus (with the least zeal), on Facebook and sometimes even on Omegle (which can be described as the height of desparation)! Now, after struggling so hard to find love does anyone still think that it will retain the charm and innocence of a normal college life romance? Yes, you got it...As the legendary joker would have said, this is what happens when an irresistible force (read sex) meets and immovable object (read love)...!!!